Red Ass

I am such a dumbass.

Last week Joe bought me a set of tanning sessions at the local salon. It was my first time ever to a tanning bed and Joe was giving me advice (he's done this before). He says "stay in only for about 5-10 minutes your first time so that your skin can get used to it." My reply was, "I have brown hair and hazel eyes. I tan really well."

3 days later I'm at the salon at the front desk talking to whoever was in charge. She asks, "how long do you want the bed to be on...it's a 20 minute bed." I figure that since she's asking that I have the option to be in there for the whole 20 minutes, so I say "I guess 20 minutes." (smacks forehead)

So, I'm led to the backroom by a college chick and I say, "this is my first time at a tanning bed." She's surprised and giggles goodheartedly. Then I say, "is it okay for me to be in here the whole 20 minutes?", to which she replies, "Sure!"

So, I go into the room, get the rundown on which button does what and then she leaves. I remember at that point Joe saying something about a sticker you can put on your skin to gauge the progress of the tan. I forgot to ask and I don't see any stickers anywhere so I start rummaging through my purse and eventually find a piece of a game that belongs to one of my kids. It's shaped like a circle. So, I lay in the bed and place the game in a strategic location and commence my tanning session.

It's about 16 minutes into the tan that I start to get really hot so I switch on the fan and finish my 20 minute nap. The light goes out and I sit up to remove the game piece (I want to see how well I did). Looks good to me. I get dressed, make my next appointment for Friday, and go home.

3 hours later Joe gives me a playful tap on my ass and I think to myself, "Ow." So, I sneak into the bathroom, pull down the corner of my pants and peek at my behind which is now a beautiful shade of RED. OMG, I am so embarrassed. I remember what Joe told me and I just get aggrivated with myself (~~~backflash~~~"Only stay in for about 5-10 minutes...")

I call Joe into the bedroom and say, "I have something really embarrassing to show you". I peel off the back of my pants and there was my red ass. Joe inhales deeply and I wait for him to say something (when he doesn't say anything, that's bad). He's aggrivated at me. I'm feeling like a stupid ass right about now and I spend the rest of the day apologizing for not taking his advice.

Today is Wednesday and my ass still hurts, along with my back, stomach, and thighs. Not sure if I'll go back on Friday or wait until after the weekend. I am such a dumb ass.