Halloween

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Victory!

I'm sitting in my fortress. The walls shake as the loud banging sounds resonate throughout the room. There is the battle cry of the warriors who will eventually penetrate my world and steal my sanity. The room is in a shamble and there's nothing that I can do to prevent it. I only sit and wait until the battle lapses into a lull so that I can gather my wits and repair what's been broken.

I hear them again. They are coming now. Up the stairs, through the doors, from the windows...I can see them now. They're here and they are ready to hear me surrender. They want to see me crack from desperation. But I won't! I refuse! They can have my body, but not my sanity. They can't penetrate my will. I will conquer.

They see me now and wait for my response. So I give to them, cold and raw:

"Go to your room and clean up that mess!"

Our little soldiers march to their bedroom where they spend the next 20 minutes complaining that there are too many toys to pick up and not enough room for their books. I tell them they are not leaving their room until the floor is completely visible.

I keep my sanity and the room eventually makes sense. Today I am victorious!

Perspective.

I can always count on Victoria to bring my life back into perspective. It's not the struggles that she faces. It's what she does with them. She uses adversity to create something beautiful within herself. Trouble is not her enemy. It's her tool. It's what she uses to mould her spirit.

I just wanted the opportunity say "thank you" to Victoria. She is a jewel and her light has made my life brighter.

Speed Novel.

I was checking out a local board this morning when I found a link to the National Novel Writing Month website. As a result of visiting the site and learning more, I've decided to write a novel! Here is some interesting information about the site:

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What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from your novel at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: Sign-ups begin October 1, 2005. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.
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If you have any other questions, please read here from the NaNoWriMo site.

I just put up another blog where I will be writing the novel. I had a great brainstorming session this morning and I'm fired up. Stop by every once in a while and check my progress. I welcome critiques from my good friends.

And, hey, you should write a novel too!!!

Lorna's Quiz.

Lorna takes a quiz.

It's a guaranteed to generate a smile. Take a looksy!

The Big Nothing.

The Big Nothing.

That's what I've got for you all today.

But, in the spirit of nothingness, I just want to say, sometimes it's good to have just nothing.

Nothing guarantees the reader won't be disappointed by a bad post. It also gives the reader to time to reflect on your more intelligent posts.

So, cheers to the nothing posts, here and everywhere.

Vacation

I'm taking Joe on a virtual vacation. Can you think of anything more exciting than traveling the world with the Knight of your heart? Ready? Here we go!!

First, we are going to the Great Wall of China where we will walk 4,153 of the 4,163 mile wall then stop for lunch. On the menu will be shrimp fried rice, wontons, egg rolls, and sesame chicken. But the fortune cookies will stay home this time. "Something will happen soon" just doesn't speak to me anymore.

Next we'll head for the Pyramids in Egypt. We'll climb halfway up only to stop so I can ask Joe if he remembered to bring the little brown paper bag in case I hyperventilated. Damn. Hate it when I'm right. Then he'll carry me gallantly down to the bottom and we'll lie in the sand until our skin turns brown and crispy.

Then we'll travel to Greece to see the coliseum. We'll get out our mountain climbing equipment and when the police show up to see us scaling the walls, we'll flash our visas and accept the free plane tickets out of the country.

We'll go to Pisa, Italy to see the leaning tower, which Joe will offer to set aright with his brute strength. The city will gratefully decline citing a loss in tourism money. Joe will set the building aright anyway. Otherwise he'll lose money on a bet we made in the hotel earlier that day.

Then we'll go to Paris, France. After shopping for 2 days to find the "perfect" kite, we'll fly it too close to the Eiffel Tower and it'll get stuck. Then we'll spend the next 2 days searching for the "next-to-perfect" kite.

Finally, we'll fly to Hawaii. When the clerk at the hotel hears noise coming from our suitcases, we'll pretend that we don't hear anything and continue to our room. When the bellboy accepts his tip with a scowl and leaves the room, we'll let Emeril out to cook our dinner.


Well, thanks for traveling with us. It was a great trip! Maybe next time you can come with us.


Nah.

50 years!

I recently received an invitation from my Grandparents (on my mother's side) to attend their 50th Wedding Celebration. I was unable to travel to their event, but I was fortunate to get an email from my Grandpa, who described what happened. Here is an exerpt:

I managed to keep Audrey from knowing that we would be married again, even when all attending, and our three children that could not come, knew.
After I introduced our previous First Man and his wife, Frank and Jan C., I called Audrey up to join us. "This like when we were married 50 years ago, same couple, same first man, and this time we have a wedding cake!" I said. "I wonder if there is someone here that could play the part of Pastor Ray W." I had told Pastor Bob to not respond until I asked him directly, "Do you know if there is someone here who could marry us again?"
This was the first moment Audrey understood what was happening. When the pastor asked for the rings, she tried to get her wedding ring off her finger. I told her, "That was for last time! We need new rings. Jan and Frank, do you happen to have any rings with you?"
Of course they did; our girls, Mary, who flew in from Houston, and Joyce, the hostess with the mostest, had picked out the rings and had them engraved inside, "David and Audrey, on your 50th wedding anniversary". I had sneaked out to get my ring finger measured, but had not seen the rings. The jeweler took two correctly-sized flat bands of gold and embossed them with the most interesting finish, so we can say they were made especially for us.
Now we have been married in California, North Dakota, and Arizona, and are eager to continue this fantastic marriage for the next 50 years!

How beautiful is that?! I had no idea that my Grandpa was such a romantic. But I told him I suppose that 50 years is enough time to learn, lol!

Although I'm certain that not every year was perfect, they worked hard to create a beautiful, fully-functioning relationship that floated no matter how high the water rose. To that, I raise my glass!

Meet Jac!a

Ladies and Gents, meet Jac!

I'm happy to have him here. I was so impressed by his work that I wanted to add him to the list of talent so that I could share with everyone.

Here's a teaser that I pulled out of his most recent post:

This is my reward as I waited for a full 10 days with my cheap camera... the full bloom in Pink, hanging down towards the ground by the sheer weight of the bunch.

Take some time to visit Jac!

Prince Charming

Prince Charming was a metrosexual.

Definition for metrosexual:

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1. You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.

2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many watches and you carry a man-purse.

3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights.

4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast... all from scratch.

5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs.

6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize.

7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck.

8. You can't imagine a day without hair styling products.

9. You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first.

10. Despite being flattered (even proud) that gay guys hit on you, you still find the thought of actually getting intimate with another man truly repulsive (Thank you, Urban Dictionary).
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Could be there be any other explanation for Prince Charming's poise, good fashion sense, and excellent hygiene?

Prince Charming sure got around. There was the ball with Cinderella, the kiss with Sleeping Beauty, the hair climbing with Rapunzel, and the competition with the 7 dwarfs to get Snow White. But why shouldn't he get all the girls? Is he not Prince Charming??

Now, Betty Boop's Prince Charming was definately not the same guy. Even though he had a small role in the "Cinderella" episode, he made a big splash with his blue eye-shadow, mascara, and lipstick. In this case, he clearly is homosexual so we can leave him off the "Metro" list. But we're talking about Betty Boop, a gal who wore lingerie to the grocery store. Clearly she would never go for Cinderella's P.C. He was just too tame.

The moral of the story: Guys with good hygiene and a passion for fashion? Sometimes dreams really do come true!

*Note-This post is specifically targeting Prince Charming. Any persons who believe that this post might define them should calmly exhale and recite the following: "Tanda is merely making an observation about a fictional character who has remained on the "questionable" list for quite some time."

Thank you. Drive around. :0)

Worried

Oh Great! Now I'm worried about being worried.

Without turning this post into a religious discussion, I thought I'd share what I learned last night in my "Women's Prayer Class".

According to the workbook set we are reading from ("A Woman's Call to Prayer", by Elizabeth George) worrying is a SIN.

Let me beat you to the punch. "Huh??"

Consider this exerpt from E. George's book: "God's word is clear in instructing us to take care of our responsibilities and families and to carefully manage all that we possess. But beyond that, the Bible is also crystal clear in letting us know that we are not to worry...about anything...ever...period!" (97)

Here was the question that I wrote on page 63 of my workbook: "Worry is built into the emotional code. We can't prevent it from coming. We often do not even realize that we are doing it. Sure, we can deal with worry in different ways. We can exercise, rest, bite our nails off, or cry. But how (please tell me) can you call something that you have almost no control over a SIN?

I probably missed the point of the lesson completely, but this question still sits in my brain like a gargoyle atop a great building. (yeah, I said great building.)

:0)

Food

How I love to eat thee? Let me count the ways.

When I was a kid, there were foods that I didn't enjoy eating: peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, turkey, sauerkraut, bell peppers, and (of course) onions.

But today, those are all foods that I love. I like to go the grocery store and peruse the many jars of jellies and jams to go with my crunchy peanut butter. Sauerkraut and hotdogs make a fine lunch for me. And I don't mind putting bell peppers and onions in my cheese omelets in the morning.

After saying that, let me introduce some more irony. The foods that I loved as a child, I no longer want to eat. I'd rather eat a sand-wich than go to McDonalds. Cantelope nausiates me. And oranges are now too messy to eat.

What foods did you eat as a child that you won't eat now?

Talk Show

Charles Manson, talk show host. Hey, why not??

Ladies and Gents, there have been good, bad, and ugly talk show hosts. Among the good are Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer (hey, for an ass, he was a pretty effective host), Phil Donahue, Sally Jesse Raphael (see "Jerry Springer"), and Ellen Degeneres.

Then there were the bad: Tony Danza, Wayne Brady, Ricky Lake, Rosie O'Donnell, and Kathy Lee.

But then there's the ugly. I just have to put a big "WTF" at the front of this very short list:

Tyra Banks.

That's it. Just Tyra Banks. I had the misfortune of catching her show while waiting in line at a local deli today. She didn't budge an inch when her guest came out from behind the stage. She just stood there like a foreign dignitary (she certainly was a foreigner in this role) and waited patiently for her guest to arrive. She gave a polite hug and didn't look concerned at all when her guest started wailing about a tramautic childhood event. You can't look beautiful, after all, if your makeup is sliding off your face in sheets or wrinkles are distorting the shape of your sculpted eyebrows. Her disposition was so unemotional and uninteresting that I almost fell asleep waiting for my pastrami sandwich.

The only thing that could possibly save this show is the natural attraction that humans have to situations where extreme emotion is being shown. People will watch it, not because she's a great host, but because they enjoy hearing the life stories given by the guests.

It's becoming increasingly clear that just about anyone could become a talk show host. Even Ole Charley!

Joker

Everybody has a joke that they tell everyone. You know...the joke that's good no matter who's around?

Submit your joke and I'll start a poll so we can vote on the favorite!

Here's my submission:

What do you call a dog walking on the sidewalk?




(anwer-a dog walking on the sidewalk. Ha!)

Featuring!

Just a quick post to address the newest feature here.

I've replaced "The Talented" list with this new "commercial" box. My goal was to bring more attention to blogs that I really enjoy visiting. I hope you like it.

However, if you have any problem with how your blog was presented, please email me. I will be happy to make any changes that would make you, my friends, more comfortable.

Happy Blogging!

Busy.

I have a life. Sort of. And although it's not really poetry, I'd like to post about my weekend.

On Friday night, Joe's family drove up to spend the weekend with us. He and I snuck out of the house later the same night while the boys stayed home and drove their grandparents nuts.

We left without a plan, but ended up at a small bar located here on Main Street. There was a drunk guy sitting right inside the door. After listening to him wrestle with words that clearly were not coming out as he intended, we realized that he was there to check licenses. Amazingly, we both passed his examination. Joe ordered a couple of beers after we sat at the barstools. When an older man sat beside him, Joe looked over to acknowledge his presence. They shook hands and the man proceeded to announce that he was "in love" and that he was going to "get some food for his girl" so that she would "give him some love." Now, there's a guy that has it all figured out. Ha!!

We went home around midnight and to our utter amazement our two oldest (7 and 3) were still awake watching the "Land Before Time". So, I put them to bed and headed that way myself. The next morning they were up at 6:30 am. I don't know how. They just were. I got through the day without falling asleep in my food or laying down on the stuffed animals that were strewn all over the boy's bedroom floor.

Saturday night Joe and I went out again. Now, before you start thinking we go out all the time, I should say also that the only babysitters that we use are the grandparents. They come to visit about once a month. So, while they are here, we take full advantage (which they don't mind!).

Joe and I flew off to a 24 hour diner since it was late and ordered a bacon, swiss, mushroom burger with fries. It was one of those burgers that you eat and then the next morning you get up thinking about. It was REALLY good! Then we took a walk around main street. There were about 40 college age kids just milling about and the bus started coming around. We thought about hopping aboard just to see where the bus would take us but changed our minds after we realized that it was the "drunk bus" sent by the University to bring inebriated students back to their dorms. The plastic garbage bags taped to the backs of the seats gave it away.

We continued to walk until we arrived back at the car. Then we decided to drive over to Walmart for some birthday shopping. Our oldest had a birthday the next day. Normally we would have been carrying a list of things that our son mentioned an interest in. This year, though, he didn't know what he wanted. That means we spent a hour in Walmart looking for something we didn't know we were looking for. We ended up with a nice chess game (he loves chess) and a fun Spongebob "rock 'em sock 'em" type of game. The party was yesterday afternoon and it went off pretty well.

It was a fun weekend, although terribly exhausting!

How was your weekend?

My Birthday

Today is my birthday!

In honor of this day, I submit to you 28 things that I want:

1. World Peace. Heehee.
2. 1979 Mustang, cranberry in color with soft top
3. A bread maker
4. A kiss from my lovely
5. A sewing machine with an autopilot feature
6. A trip to Italy
7. A reliable, reputable babysitter
8. To buy new homes for my parents
9. Oh, and they'll need new cars also
10. A bike
11. Some roller skates (not to be confused with roller blades, which suck entirely)
12. A hair cut that I can look at and be able to say, "Gee, that turned out just the way I like."
13. The complete set of "Anne of Green Gables" videos
14. A phone call from the IRS saying they owe ME money.
15. A winning lottery ticket
16. An interest- free loan to build our new house with
17. The ability to fly
18. New socks
19. To grow sunflowers in my back yard
20. A carpet that is impossible to get dirty or stained
21. Good grades
22. The fairest skin in all the land
23. Great legs
24. Mexican food. MMmmmm...
25. Hugs from my boys
26. This list to end. I'm getting too old for this.
27. Skydiving lessons
28. To live until I die.

:0)

Update

The S.O.C.K Project
Click here to find out more about this project.

I wanted to offer this update this morning to let you all know where I am with this project.

Materials-Thanks to kind contributions I have been able to save half of the cost for the sewing machine. I called Walmart this morning and found out that the same machine that they offer online is also in our local store. I will be purchasing it as soon as I raise enough money for it.

Also, I made a visit to the local thrift store where I purchased all of their pillows. I took them home, opened them up, and washed the filling by hand. This was a cheaper way to obtain poly-fil than buying it new. I am shopping around for good bargains on new men's tube socks. However, I am considering approaching the ladies at church to ask for sock donations.

Organization-I have received one offer to start up a chapter other than my own (Chapter #1). Since I haven't really "advertised" the project yet, I'm pretty happy with that. However, if you are considering joining The S.O.C.K Project, please contact me and I will be happy to mail you general directions for making the doll. I believe that every woman will be able to add her own "flavor" to the doll by adding special touches so I will be sending a simple design.

I am trying to figure out a way to make the tags, also. This is still a bit tricky since we'll need a lot of them for distribution to the different chapters. Please share any ideas you have in the comments section.

News-There will be lots of news in the near future about where we are with this project. Therefore, I am working on another blog specifically for this. The blog will act as a newsletter and a place to obtain information about starting a chapter, creating the dolls, adding members, finding places in your area to distribute the dolls, etc.

Thank you again for your help in getting The S.O.C.K Project running. I'm really excited about this!

Tanda

Short Story

At sunrise, I watched her walk to the river to wash her face. Our camp was located right outside of a wooded area and very near to the river. Rain had not come for many days. We waited but it did not come. The night before we had come through dense woodland to arrive where we had seen the birds dive. All three tepee's were erected before sunset and the fire was sparked in the minutes following the sun's gentle descent.

I saw her looking at her face in the solemn waters this morning. She seemed to always pause after washing up. Her slow, reflective movements told me that she was looking at more than just her face. She was looking at her past. And as I expected, she began singing her sad song. I could see her chest rise and fall rapidly as she forced the sorrow to stay inside. But the pain was unyeilding and the tears fell copiously from her eyes.

She saw me watching and stood quickly with her head held high in the air. The tears were swept away with one stroke of her previously clenched hands. She walked back to camp and sat near the fire as the older women baked cod over the fire. The women did not acknowledge her but still she sat erect with her spirit in tact.

It had been 7 months since she stepped into her father's tepee to announce that she was with child. Her father, Spirit Eagle, accepted her announcment and granted her permission to bring her baby into the world. She kept her excitement close to her heart and did not release it until she had left her father's tent. The older women read the future when they saw her face.

But three months ago, her child released it's spirit from it's body. She knew it almost immediately. Even before she realized that she was not feeling movement anymore, she felt an emptiness. The child's lifeless body was delivered on a frigid morning when no animals were yet stirring. Her mournful cries could be heard all across the camp. When they brought his body to the edge of the wood for the burial, she did not go. Saying goodbye to her young one was intolerable.

After watching her at the river this morning, I think I understand why she pauses. She believes that one day she will wash her face and the pain will be washed away with all the dirt. And when she sees her reflection and realizes that the pain is still there, she weeps.