Wanted: One Bad Ass Spider.Currently seeking one bad ass spider to replace old broke ass spider who won't do his job. Actually, the company currently employs many of these broke ass spiders. Their production rate is evident based on the number of intruders we have seen in the company headquarters this quarter.
Our company is now seeking one bad mama-jama who will not only spin webs and lie in wait, but will vigorously seek out unwanted intruders. Qualifications include:
-at least two years experience
-a natural tendency to catch insects and dispose of them naturally
-at least one set of Raybans
-one leather jacket (preferably genuine leather)
-killer jaws
-a sinister personality.
Job description is as follows: must demostrate impressive insect disposal rates, spin webs that resemble the 7 wonders of the world, listen to pop/rap/classical/big band music (ability to dance a plus!) and be able to work 24 hours a day. No exceptions.
If you are a [w]ussy, do not bother applying.
Apply in "person" at the following address: 123 Ownapisedoff Blvd. Thatsitville, Anystate 12345
cc
Tanda
Our company is now seeking one bad mama-jama who will not only spin webs and lie in wait, but will vigorously seek out unwanted intruders. Qualifications include:
-at least two years experience
-a natural tendency to catch insects and dispose of them naturally
-at least one set of Raybans
-one leather jacket (preferably genuine leather)
-killer jaws
-a sinister personality.
Job description is as follows: must demostrate impressive insect disposal rates, spin webs that resemble the 7 wonders of the world, listen to pop/rap/classical/big band music (ability to dance a plus!) and be able to work 24 hours a day. No exceptions.
If you are a [w]ussy, do not bother applying.
Apply in "person" at the following address: 123 Ownapisedoff Blvd. Thatsitville, Anystate 12345
cc
Tanda
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