Vacation

I'm taking Joe on a virtual vacation. Can you think of anything more exciting than traveling the world with the Knight of your heart? Ready? Here we go!!

First, we are going to the Great Wall of China where we will walk 4,153 of the 4,163 mile wall then stop for lunch. On the menu will be shrimp fried rice, wontons, egg rolls, and sesame chicken. But the fortune cookies will stay home this time. "Something will happen soon" just doesn't speak to me anymore.

Next we'll head for the Pyramids in Egypt. We'll climb halfway up only to stop so I can ask Joe if he remembered to bring the little brown paper bag in case I hyperventilated. Damn. Hate it when I'm right. Then he'll carry me gallantly down to the bottom and we'll lie in the sand until our skin turns brown and crispy.

Then we'll travel to Greece to see the coliseum. We'll get out our mountain climbing equipment and when the police show up to see us scaling the walls, we'll flash our visas and accept the free plane tickets out of the country.

We'll go to Pisa, Italy to see the leaning tower, which Joe will offer to set aright with his brute strength. The city will gratefully decline citing a loss in tourism money. Joe will set the building aright anyway. Otherwise he'll lose money on a bet we made in the hotel earlier that day.

Then we'll go to Paris, France. After shopping for 2 days to find the "perfect" kite, we'll fly it too close to the Eiffel Tower and it'll get stuck. Then we'll spend the next 2 days searching for the "next-to-perfect" kite.

Finally, we'll fly to Hawaii. When the clerk at the hotel hears noise coming from our suitcases, we'll pretend that we don't hear anything and continue to our room. When the bellboy accepts his tip with a scowl and leaves the room, we'll let Emeril out to cook our dinner.


Well, thanks for traveling with us. It was a great trip! Maybe next time you can come with us.


Nah.